Sardarjee Jokes (Santa Banta)

Sardarjee Jokes  (Santa Banta)

Santa Caught by Taliban.
Talibani (To Santa) - Islam Kabul Karo, Warna Gala Kaat diya jayega.
Santa - Yaar ye v ajeeb dharam hai, Kabul karo to Lulli Kat dete ho, na karo to Gardan!!!
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Banta: Kee Gal hai Sante. Kalle Kalle samosey kha reyan
Santa : Nahin yaarr, Chutney De Naal.
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JIS KE DIL MEIN DARD HAI WOH DILDAAR HAI. JIS KE DIL MEIN DARD HAI WOH DILDAAR HAI. JIS KE SAR MEIN DARD HAI WOH SARDAAR HAI. WAH WAH WAH .......
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Sardar Hari Singh and Gani Singh walked toward each other
on a country road. Hari Singh carried a bag over his shoulder. "Hey Bhai," Gani Singh drawled,
"what's in the bag?"
"Chickens," was the reply.
"If I guess how many, can I have one?"
"You can have both of them."
"OK, Five?"
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I can kiss u without even touching u.
Gal: U can't
Santa: Lagi 10-10 ki
Gal: Ok
Santa kisses her lips
Gal: Touch kar liya, touch kar liya
Santa: Aah lai 10 Rs.
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Jeeto: Ek baat batani hai, par plz muje marna nahi.
Santa: Bolo.
Jeeto: Mein Pregnant hu!
Santa: It's a gud News.
Jeeto: Shadi k pahle pitaji ko bataya to bahut maar padi thi.
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Santa bought a car on loan...
He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.
Santa: If I knew this,
I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!
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A cute Nurse came 4 the interview.
Dr: What salary U Xpect?
Nurse: Rs.10,000.
Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
Nurse: With pleasure it’s 25,000
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Sardar ji says I love u to his girl friend and suddenly falls on the floor.
Girl Friend: What is this?
Sardarji: O ji, I'm falling in love!
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Ek sardar ka 20 saal baad beta hua. Who udas hogaya.
2nd dost : yaar udas kyon ho?
Sardar: 20 saal baad beta hua tay "oh vi inna chota"
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Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate "Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese." "How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?" "Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper,it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."
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Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?" The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it had I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too.
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Sardarji is at a feast arranged by the Queen of England. One of the dignitaries present requests the Queen, "Pass the Wine you Devine !". Sardarji thinks to himself - "How poetic !". Sardar also wants to say a rhyming sentence. He tells the British ambassador sitting next to him, "Pass the custard you bastard".
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Sardarji went to US to live with his brother. Sardarji's Brother owns a apple shop in US. One day he asked his brother to stay at the shop because he had to go somewhere. He asked his brother if somebody comes to shop and ask for the apple's price, tell them $2 a pound. If somebody questions wheter these apples are sweet or sour, tell them some are some are not. If some body says I do not want to buy, tell them somebody else will buy.
Now the sardarji was ready to sell the apples. A lady comes and asks sardarji, Do you know what time it is ? Sardarji replied $2 a pound. Lady said; all sardarji's are idiot and fools.Sardarji replied, some are some are not. Lady got frustrated and said, I will take you to police station. Sardarji replied, if you will not take some body else take.
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GAMBLER Surjit Singh saw that his friend Baljit Singh was very depressed.
"What happened ?" asked Surjit.
"Yaar, I lost Rs. 1000 in a bet yesterday."
"How come ?"
"Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and England was being shown live on TV. I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet."
"But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest go ?"
"Yaar, I bet on the highlights too "
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ones sardarji saw a very soni kudi in the market & thought..……kash k ye meri maa hondi to main v inna sona honda..
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Transferring Files
Santa once wanted to transfer some files form one PC to another. Following was the steps followed by him.
1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.
2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.
3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file.
4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option!!